Tag Archives: renew

Goal Setting with Purpose

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Photo Courtesy of entertainmentcareerstrategy.com

 

I am really excited about this new season in my life and I am trying to prepare for it purposefully.  So many times I have said all of these things that I would do and make a plan that I may or may not have followed through on.  The problem is that I did not set up an environment to succeed.  So, the first thing that I am encouraging all to do is purposefully plan out an environment in which you will succeed.

For me, my home has to be clean, orderly, and as free from as many distractions as possible (not including the children).  As a single parent this can be hard but I finally saved enough money to employ some extra help, as in a maid service and carpet cleaner (use Groupon).  I figure that I may be able to afford this once per season if I budget appropriately.  I also bought another desk that I do not have to share with my teenage daughter and four-year-old son.  This is my personal workspace free from clutter and distractions.

The next thing I did was consult the pros (Pinterest, Instagram, the self-help section at Barnes and Noble).  I hope you know that I was smiling when I typed the last sentence but, it’s true for me.  I follow some amazing people on social media who are starting from scratch or who have started from scratch and are doing very well.  They offer inspiration and advice which is why I created the board “Boss Behavior” on Pinterest.

Please go check it out.  This board is all about the third step of creating a binder for 2016.  I have this poster in my classroom that says “A Goal without a Plan is just a Wish”.  The binder will hold the plan and the process.  I found templates for mission statement sheets, goal setting forms, budgeting and bill paying, spiritual health, physical health, and more.  I bought dividers and created sections to chart my growth.

The main goal is to become a published author by the end of 2016.  My other goals, I have one for each section of the binder: are to lose weight, create a solid nutrition regimen, be more productive at work, pay of at least two bills on my credit report, and build a stronger foundation spiritually.

Lastly, I will take the next seven days to create an action plan with steps to achieve each goal and just start.  My hope is that by sharing my journey with you, you will also be inspired and we will all live a life that is purposeful.  As single parents it may be harder to carve out time so I will continue to share how I find ways through my posts in the new year.

I would also like to add that I am reading a book called the “The 5 AM Miracle: Dominate Your Day Before Breakfast” by Jeff Sanders and it is truly inspirational.  I just want to be able to implement; I will share more as I continue to read.

Well, now it’s time to go get planning!

Breaking Generational Strongholds

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Break free!!

When I think of my mother, I think of a strong woman whom worked hard all of her life until she retired on disability. This is the same woman who had two children early in life and then was surprised by another (myself) in her late thirties. Needless to say there was a lot of adjusting that needed to take place. With an 18 year gap between myself and my sister and a 20 year gap between myself and my brother, my mother and I have always struggled to bond as she wasn’t used to children any longer.

Now don’t get me wrong, she was the best mother she could be but, she, herself had grown up with a mother whom did not show love in the emotional sense, but through her ability to provide for and take care of her kids. The emotional piece had been missing for generations. I’m sure the fact that my grandmother growing up in the south and experiencing racism to an extent that I never had probably contributed to the hard demeanor that she presented. I am also sure that that was passed on to my own mother.

Now, as a parent myself I find it easy to show affection to my children while they are young but not so much as they get older; please do not beat me up for saying this. I currently have a 13 year old whom is going through her own hormonal changes and in need of emotional support of which I am not familiar except by the examples set forth in the family sitcoms I watched growing up.

I am thankful that I noticed my waning emotional support immediately (thanks to being a teacher and experiencing it firsthand with my students and their parents) because I was able to dig deep and surface the source and then research ways to remedy it.

I am happy to say that it is possible to break generational strongholds. I believe in purposeful parenting because you can never get back the years lost with your children but you can make a significant change for the better at any stage that will positively impact their lives. I am constantly searching for opportunities and creating opportunities to provide that emotional support to my daughter. I can’t say that I am an expert or that I am doing it correctly, but I am trying.

I have:

  • Purchased Groupons to brunch in the city for just her and I
  • We read a good book together or talk about whatever she wants to freely
  • We have created traditions that are unique to us and will be different for myself and her brother once he gets older
  • I purchased a devotional geared towards mothers and daughters to read with her every night
  • I do not allow electronics at the breakfast/dinner table to allow for conversation between her and myself
  • I have recently looked up more volunteer opportunities that we can do together

I am constantly looking for ways to create the emotional support that she needs as it is vital to her self-esteem and self-awareness. Recently, I read a book called How Full is Your Bucket by Tom Rath and my goal is to fill her bucket daily with positivity. I recommend reading this book and also StrengthsFinder 2.0. Just because something has been a certain way in your family for generations doesn’t mean that it can’t stop with you (and I am referring to something negative). You must proclaim that it will be different for you and yours. Purposefully parent!