Tag Archives: purpose

The Binder

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The Binder

Hey!  This is the first real week of the new year and I am overly excited about my journey this year to publishing my first children’s book and creating the life that I deserve.  I have listened in on a lot of motivational conference calls and come across free goal strategy sessions and resources.  There is a wealth of information out there and all of it is accessible and most of it is affordable.  Of course, my idea of affordable at this moment is free.

Anyway, the best idea I came across obviously came from trolling Pinterest.  If you have been following me you already know how much I love Pinterest.  A couple of weeks back I found a lot of free templates for creating personal mission statements, budgeting and getting your finances together, goal setting sheets, health and spirituality templates.  Then the mother of all ideas of which I had never thought about before was creating a “Vision Binder” or “Life Binder”.  I even created one for my friend.

I am all about living purposefully and achieving my dreams so I want to be intentional in my strategy and how I use my time each day to work towards my goals and vision for my life.  What I learned is that when you right it down and constantly come back and review and make it a priority in your day, you will most likely achieve your goals.  I have this poster in my classroom that reads “A goal without a plan is just a wish”.  That quote is accurate.  How many times have we made goals or resolutions and never stuck to them because we did not create a detailed plan and constantly go back and review it throughout the year?

Check out my Pinterest board Boss Behavior and download some of the free templates, read some of the articles, and comment on whether or not it was helpful.  I would love to hear from you.  Also, I created a vision board for 2016 and I posted above my new desk in my room (I had my teenage daughter create one also and this is a great bonding activity.  Have them present their vision board and explain).

I am so proud of this board because I have a gut feeling that 2016 is going to be My Year! Let’s make it the best year so far together!

Happy New Year!

 

Goal Setting with Purpose

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Photo Courtesy of entertainmentcareerstrategy.com

 

I am really excited about this new season in my life and I am trying to prepare for it purposefully.  So many times I have said all of these things that I would do and make a plan that I may or may not have followed through on.  The problem is that I did not set up an environment to succeed.  So, the first thing that I am encouraging all to do is purposefully plan out an environment in which you will succeed.

For me, my home has to be clean, orderly, and as free from as many distractions as possible (not including the children).  As a single parent this can be hard but I finally saved enough money to employ some extra help, as in a maid service and carpet cleaner (use Groupon).  I figure that I may be able to afford this once per season if I budget appropriately.  I also bought another desk that I do not have to share with my teenage daughter and four-year-old son.  This is my personal workspace free from clutter and distractions.

The next thing I did was consult the pros (Pinterest, Instagram, the self-help section at Barnes and Noble).  I hope you know that I was smiling when I typed the last sentence but, it’s true for me.  I follow some amazing people on social media who are starting from scratch or who have started from scratch and are doing very well.  They offer inspiration and advice which is why I created the board “Boss Behavior” on Pinterest.

Please go check it out.  This board is all about the third step of creating a binder for 2016.  I have this poster in my classroom that says “A Goal without a Plan is just a Wish”.  The binder will hold the plan and the process.  I found templates for mission statement sheets, goal setting forms, budgeting and bill paying, spiritual health, physical health, and more.  I bought dividers and created sections to chart my growth.

The main goal is to become a published author by the end of 2016.  My other goals, I have one for each section of the binder: are to lose weight, create a solid nutrition regimen, be more productive at work, pay of at least two bills on my credit report, and build a stronger foundation spiritually.

Lastly, I will take the next seven days to create an action plan with steps to achieve each goal and just start.  My hope is that by sharing my journey with you, you will also be inspired and we will all live a life that is purposeful.  As single parents it may be harder to carve out time so I will continue to share how I find ways through my posts in the new year.

I would also like to add that I am reading a book called the “The 5 AM Miracle: Dominate Your Day Before Breakfast” by Jeff Sanders and it is truly inspirational.  I just want to be able to implement; I will share more as I continue to read.

Well, now it’s time to go get planning!

Re-Visioning

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stop-procrastinating-and-do-revisionIt has been a while since I have posted to this blog and it is because sometimes life gets in the way.  Mine became all-consuming and I started to drift off into a place where I felt detached from myself.  I was just a robot doing what needed to be done and existing but not living.  The more time away from writing, the more I became detached.  Words are my life!  My goal is to get it back and focus on what matters “MOST”,  hence, the title Re-Visioning.

I have my students revise their drafts because sometimes it lacks focus, purpose, or careless mistakes have been made.  Some drafts are beautifully written but can be taken to the next level.  That is how I explain it when they ask why they have to revise.

Life can be revised.  Sometimes we get into a pattern where we lose focus, purpose and make careless mistakes.  Sometimes we are at the top of our game but just need to switch gears and try something new.

I am at that point.  I am re-visioning my life and doing what works for me and mine (my household).  My goal of getting published this year did not occur because I drifted and got caught up in existing.  Do not let this happen to you and if it does, know that you can switch gears. A new year is coming but more importantly a new day.  It doesn’t matter how far down the wrong path you have traveled, as long as you stop and turn around.  We can constantly recreate the life that we want for ourselves.  We can constantly revise our plans when thrown a curve ball.  We can re-vision our purpose.  It is never too late.  What I will not do is look back another 10 years from now and ask “Why didn’t I even try?”

Passion and Purpose

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PurposeToday I just want to vent a little.  For the past several years I have been trying to do big things and open doors for myself to new opportunities.  I have gone to trainings, received degrees, taken on more responsibility, let others know what I want and everything else positive that would set me up for success.  The issue is that every door that has been closed has stayed closed.  I have received so many rejection emails (none in regards to my writing) that it would make the average person give up.  But, now it is year six and still no bite.  I am getting antsy because bills are piling up, I have children to take care of, and the income is not meeting the demand.  I am working multiple jobs where I am so tired that I just cannot bring myself to write.

Well, no longer!  What I have been doing is following an agenda that is not aligned with my passion and purpose.  As a single parent, I am thinking about affording college, daycare, rent, utilities, groceries, car, etc.  The epiphany has come to me many times before but has rung more clear today than it ever has.  Follow my passion.  Follow my purpose.  And at least if I still continue to struggle, I will be a lot happier knowing that I tried and did something I loved.

I am by no means a quitter.  But, I am wearing myself thin.  I rarely have time with my children trying to make enough to support them and I am still coming up short.  I am writer and motivator.  I want to help other single parents and write for a living.  I want to help society as a whole by those means.  Whether or not it becomes lucrative is of no concern to me.  I want to live with no regrets.

I regret the amount of time that I have already lost away from my children.  I regret running myself into the ground and not focusing on my health and multiple sclerosis trying to take on extra assignments that aren’t recognized nor appreciated.  It is time to live for me and my family.

I hear a lot of my friends questioning their purpose and current situations.  I hear a lot of regret.  I guess the question we end up asking ourselves or should ask ourselves is “what legacy do I want to leave behind?”

Then, go for it!

Breaking Generational Strongholds

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Break free!!

When I think of my mother, I think of a strong woman whom worked hard all of her life until she retired on disability. This is the same woman who had two children early in life and then was surprised by another (myself) in her late thirties. Needless to say there was a lot of adjusting that needed to take place. With an 18 year gap between myself and my sister and a 20 year gap between myself and my brother, my mother and I have always struggled to bond as she wasn’t used to children any longer.

Now don’t get me wrong, she was the best mother she could be but, she, herself had grown up with a mother whom did not show love in the emotional sense, but through her ability to provide for and take care of her kids. The emotional piece had been missing for generations. I’m sure the fact that my grandmother growing up in the south and experiencing racism to an extent that I never had probably contributed to the hard demeanor that she presented. I am also sure that that was passed on to my own mother.

Now, as a parent myself I find it easy to show affection to my children while they are young but not so much as they get older; please do not beat me up for saying this. I currently have a 13 year old whom is going through her own hormonal changes and in need of emotional support of which I am not familiar except by the examples set forth in the family sitcoms I watched growing up.

I am thankful that I noticed my waning emotional support immediately (thanks to being a teacher and experiencing it firsthand with my students and their parents) because I was able to dig deep and surface the source and then research ways to remedy it.

I am happy to say that it is possible to break generational strongholds. I believe in purposeful parenting because you can never get back the years lost with your children but you can make a significant change for the better at any stage that will positively impact their lives. I am constantly searching for opportunities and creating opportunities to provide that emotional support to my daughter. I can’t say that I am an expert or that I am doing it correctly, but I am trying.

I have:

  • Purchased Groupons to brunch in the city for just her and I
  • We read a good book together or talk about whatever she wants to freely
  • We have created traditions that are unique to us and will be different for myself and her brother once he gets older
  • I purchased a devotional geared towards mothers and daughters to read with her every night
  • I do not allow electronics at the breakfast/dinner table to allow for conversation between her and myself
  • I have recently looked up more volunteer opportunities that we can do together

I am constantly looking for ways to create the emotional support that she needs as it is vital to her self-esteem and self-awareness. Recently, I read a book called How Full is Your Bucket by Tom Rath and my goal is to fill her bucket daily with positivity. I recommend reading this book and also StrengthsFinder 2.0. Just because something has been a certain way in your family for generations doesn’t mean that it can’t stop with you (and I am referring to something negative). You must proclaim that it will be different for you and yours. Purposefully parent!

Family Mantra

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family mantra

In time for the holiday season and soon the beginning of a new year, I thought it may be a great idea for me to review my family mantra.  I created it at the beginning of 2012 and tried to purposefully stay on course with what I deem important for me and my family.  It is a great idea for you to create one for your family and start 2014 year off all on the same path.  As a single parent sometimes we don’t even think along these lines but raising our kids and living our daily lives, in our daily routines, should be purposeful.  We should never go through days, weeks, months and even years just living day by day and letting “things” happen to us.  We should be strategic in our mission to create a family that we can be proud of and that will give back to society in a positive way.  There are things that happen to us that are beyond our control but one thing that we can control is how we allow for our kids to interact with us and the world (to some degree) and how we interact with them.

I can’t remember where I got the idea for a family mantra, but I am sure that it came from some blog, book, or sermon that read or heard.  The important thing it is that I found it useful and enlightening.  It forced me to think about the footprint I want to leave on this earth and the way I that I can do this is through my children, my family.  You can even involve your children in the process and once it is created, have a dialogue explaining the reasons why you have certain things on the list.  This dialogue opens up a discussion that can prove to be most meaningful.  When children have a purpose, they feel a little more in control and focused on a clear destination.  This creates a sense of security and builds confidence.  You can think of this as taking your vision boards (mentioned in an earlier post) to the next level.

Below I have included my own family mantra and the great thing is as your family grows and outlooks change, you can change your mantra and continue to dialogue with your family as to why things have been added or taken away.

My Family Mantra:

  • To participate in educational activities together as a family whether that be discussions, museum trips, educational games, or creating things together.
  • Nurture each others creativity and individual talents.
  • Resurrect God in the household.
  • Live healthier than the year before.
  • Foster financial stability.
  • Build and maintain self-esteem, morals, and ethics.

You can type one up, add images, print it out, get it embroidered on cloth but whatever you do make it visible to those in your household and those who enter your household so there is never a question about what you deem important.  I wish everyone a happy Thanksgiving.  Be safe and be thankful.

Link to pic can be found here: http://modernkiddo.com/mk-giveaway-urbanwalls-decals/